July 2011
I have a boyfriend that I've been going out with for a year, who lives in England. I live in the United States. We met online through a site called deviantART, and started getting to know each other through chat. Through deviantART, I've become a part of a community and have made friends that I'd never thought I'd even talk to outside of the internet. That is a seperate life. No one outside of my internet life, besides my mom, knows about my friends or boyfriend. Everyone thinks I'm the same, single, normal girl. But I'm not. They don't know the real me. Who I am. And the ones who do, the ones who I'm desperate to meet, are borders, states, continents, oceans away. But one day... one day, I will meet them all, and my secret won't be a secret anymore. One day I'll gain the confidence to tell everyone outside of my internet life who I really am, and who I am not. One day. When I am ready.
I don't realise how difficult this actually is until I sit and think about it. I have no idea how I cope with with the situation. Nobody fully understands what I have to go through, but neither do you because it's all alright for you. Not completely alright, but you don't find it as difficult as I do. Not even close. But I really wish you did, because then you'd experience the hell and the heartache and maybe even understand.
I can't stop glancing at you in class.
